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Genre
fiction is almost always about the action, one way or another, and that’s what
verbs represent. The subject of each sentence, the main noun, is pretty much
fixed. How you describe what that person, place or thing is doing is the
difference between an interesting statement and a boring one.
The
easiest and least interesting verbs to use are forms of the verb to be. You
know… it is, you are, they were, etc. Those words simply denote existence, and
are almost always the worst choice.
Likewise
there are the most common terms for movement that have dozens of cooler
synonyms. Like go, for instance. Sure he
went home, and maybe he walked home (better) but he could have run, skipped,
raced, sauntered, wandered or found his way home in several other ways. He hit
the ball but he could have slammed it, whacked it, clobbered it, smashed it…
you get the idea.
Here’s
a short paragraph I’ve stolen and re-written from a recent submission we
received:
A
crystal chandelier was overhead and below, the tile floor was black and white. Fresh sunflowers sat on a tea table in the
center and beyond it an oak banister went up a marble treaded staircase. She
went from this to Barlow’s I thought, she sure as hell wanted out.
Now
that is perfectly serviceable prose, and delivers the message – it’s real nice
here but she ran away anyway. BUT here’s what the author really wrote:
A
crystal chandelier hung above my head and a black and white tiled floor flowed
before me. A tea table in the center held fresh sunflowers and beyond it an oak
banister led the way up a marble treaded staircase. From this to Barlow’s I
thought, she sure as hell wanted out.
I
hope you can feel the difference. This is not purple prose, not flowery or
wordy. But by choosing better verbs she has made the descriptive passage much
more inviting.