Still talking short stories: have you
considered having more than one protagonist? Buddy pictures and most romances
have two protagonists. And while this works in Romeo and Juliet, and Lethal
Weapon, I strongly recommend you not try it in a short story. There generally
isn’t time and space to build enough caring about more than one character. I am
not saying it can’t be done, just saying it’s not for us beginners.
Once you know whose story it is, I’d suggest you write the opening line. You don’t just want good… you want perfect. It’s a short story: you need to hook the reader in right away. A great first line will entice the reader enough that he or she can’t put the story down. That first line needs to invite us into the scene. It should have some surprises. How can a first line be surprising? How about the opening line of 1984 by George Orwell: “it was a bright cold day in April and the clocks were striking thirteen.” I thought this was an ingenious way to show that the world he’s describing is slightly off from the real world.
If possible, it should tell your whole
story in one sentence. How can that be? Take Kafka’s The Metamorphosis: “As
Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams he found himself transformed
in his bed into a monstrous vermin.” Yeah, that just about says it all – we see
his entire journey, from the realization of his situation to his total
alienation to his eventual death.
Honestly, you won’t see perfect very often
, but I want to share and discuss a good example. Gene Wolfe’s book “The Shadow
of the Torturer” opens with this line: “It is possible I already had some
presentiment of my future.” These are the first eleven words of a thousand page
story cycle, but look at all they accomplish. First, they establish the first
person narrator. They establish that he is looking back on his life. They also
help to set the scene and establish a definite voice. How about the first three
word? “It is possible…” a little stilted, and maybe overly formal. Suppose he
said, “It’s possible”? It wouldn’t establish such a deliberate voice, right?
And using a word like “presentiment” – way more formal than “I’ve got this
idea…” or “I have a sense that…” but it doesn’t carry the foreboding
that the word “premonition” might carry.
We’ll talk about scene
breakdowns in your short story next
week.